Perhaps I was saving myself
for someone or something
that deserved me more than you
but you kept on digging, deeper and deeper
turned me over, until entrenched
in my very being
like sowing the seeds
in the garden of Eden
Fig leaves wouldn’t cover my
most intimate parts, you’d cultivate
as you wheedled out my fears
then set about to deflower
in a way that nobody else had before
and as I would scatter words to the sun
I’d grow before your eyes
(with a prune from time to time)
until your harvest be mine
My secrets excavated now
and so I’ll till and toil
clear the way for consciousness
whilst counting all the blessings
of you, who opened up the landscape
you know who you are
and so do I, forever grateful
<a
THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN FOR dVerse Poets Poetics Prompt AS A DEDICATION TO ALL OF THE WONDERFUL POETS WHO HAVE ENCOURAGED, INSPIRED AND TAUGHT ME HOW TO WRITE TRUTHFULLY, FROM THE HEART AND TO BECOME A BETTER POET.
like sowing the seeds
in the garden of Eden
Fig leaves wouldn’t cover my
most intimate parts…nice use of the biblical tale…and the deflowering, oh my…smiles…scattering words and growing before your eyes…really nice blend of the gardening and relationships in this…love the gratitude in the end as well…smiles.
Well it’s a very sincere sentiment, you gave all encouraged me to expose some pretty vulnerable thoughts, be they happy or sad, truth or fiction, or just because I’m putting my hand up at the back of the class and saying ‘look what I did’ without fear of anyone laughing at or dismissing me… That’s a gift and no mistake xx
there surely is intimacy and a kind of deflowering in writing and discovering the own voice, stepping out into the world of poetry… i like how you capture it with the verbs of a landscaper as it has much of a garden and growth and beauty…and a bit of pruning from time to time as well..smiles
My Dad’s a landscaper so it was a clear choice I guess! Its you guys who prune the odd stray branch here and there so that I’m always reaching for the sun and getting the most from my roots…. so thank you Claudia, you are certainly amongst those I have written this for xx
I feel the same way about poetry and this community. I had no experience at all in writing, but they dig, nourish and cultivate my words. Your piece resonates with me as its my own journey too. Happy weekend to you ~
Delighted you feel the same, feel free to add your voice to my words and thank you for taking the time to comment. I am working through the list and shall be over to see you shortly xx
I just love this poem; and yes, to write truthfully is the only way to write, I think. I liked the working in the soil metaphor (I could ‘joke’ a bit and say down to earth); and the ending was beautifully crafted! Bravo.
Thank you so much Mary, and for taking the time to comment. It’s a big comittment to write and then comment on the pieces and I am truly grateful.
Beautiful! You are like the flower in the picture! I love this poem!
Awww thanks Charles, yes maybe, all pink and fluffy with a dark and textured centre… ha ha ha.
You are blossoming!
To quote a wise man ‘Ah-ight den’… did I get that right?!
yes’m
This is a lovely & intimate write, Vanessa…..and yes, I feel grateful for the wonderful community out there, also …we are blessed
You are one of those that I am grateful for xx
Very lovely. k.
And very much written with you and the dVerse folks in mind. Thank you, had lots of fun using your prompt in this piece.
So glad. You did a great job. k.
I was touched by so much honesty and openness. Beautifully crafted and… planted. Your seeds will grow in a few poets’ hearts
I hope so… and yours maybe too?! Lovely to see you here and thank you for commenting.
When we trust someone with our love, there is nothing we can’t do because we open ourselves fully to life.
This is truly lovely!
Thank you, as are you, count yourself amongst those I dedicate this too.
This is exquisite…what a wonderful use of the prompt. It makes me want to write another using gardening verbs.
Go for it I say! Glad you enjoyed and thank you for taking time to comment x
Vanessa!!! (yes..you’ll grow tired of me shouting your name from the rooftops)…but this is quite simply stunning…I’m not even thinking about the prompt…I’m thinking you’ve written the piece I wished I had…how to put a garden of gratitude into words? You’ve done a fantastic job!
I’m not sure what to say about that really…. I’m a tiny bit speechless. Thank you Tash and I hope you know you were counted as one of the blessings that inspired this piece xx
A beautiful poem Vanessa, as you say very intimate and deep, I would love to know the story behind it. As you say it is amazing how vulnerable you can make yourself through writing, but in the company of like minded people there’s little danger in it.
Thanks for sharing!
The story behind it is the uncovering of my inner poet I didn’t know was there until I started doing this blog and joined in with dVerse poets and Kellie Elmore Free Write Friday prompts about two months ago…. And I have loved every opportunity to explore my thoughts and feelings through poetry with the support and encouragement of all you wonderfully talented people ever since! So thank you to you also, for being here and continuing to remind me that perhaps I’m not that bad at this poetry business xx
And long will your garden flourish. The connectedness of horticulture with love, with poetry is what makes your poem shine. I enjoyed the layers of meaningl.
And I enjoyed your comments, thank you
A fine poem, and one that meets all the challenges of the prompt. Well done.
And hopefully one that goes some way to communicate my gratitude to all you wonderfully supportive poets. Thank you David.
So nice- and a great sentiment so sincerely put. I always think about poetry as healing- and to put own to paper – and then put it out in front of everyone- well- I kind of think that if you can do that then any problems or vulnerability contained within just gets smaller and smaller. I’m with you though – other poets, and that network of support grows confidence, skill and builds discipline- if others didn’t encourage these things in me- I don’t know where I’d be at. Fine work again Vanessa!
Thanks Stu, and I hope you include yourself amongst those I aimed to share my gratitude with… In other news, I hope there is an audio circulating the net at the moment following your karaoke classic last night?! Ha ha xx
Oh god- there’d better not be- you know when you’ve had a few and you think ‘yeah I’m actually ok at singing’- that was me- what an idiot ha ha…I’m glad to be included amongst the poets and humbled that you would even consider me within the sentiment- you need to include yourself- we’re all in it together
Very personal experience beautifully crafted …and a wonderful interpretation of the prompt. A brave and worthy offering
Well thank you, and as a regular commentator on my work please feel free to share in the dedication… It’s for you too so enjoy with my thanks!
The gardening metaphor works really well here–as a gardener myself I often turn to the images of the soil and the life there—you did a great job with making it all seem very fresh to me. Great take on the prompt.
Thank you and I hope you picked up on the dedication at the end, it really is thanks to you all that I ever put pen to paper in the first place.
Quite simply stunning and very moving, I felt your trepidation, excitement, your surrender and last but not least, your gratitude! Lovely.
Oh thank you, I’m so glad you did, particularly the gratitude for this lovely poetry community x
Excellent piece
Nick
Thanks as always Nick, short and to the point… Most unlike a poet… Ha ha ha;))