Next to us are two families, local faces
neighbors stretched on beach towels
One family a lot like ours in the usual ways
whilst the other one is small and broken
like the china teapot they used to breakfast around
the pieces now scattered, or hidden
in the blazer pocket of an abusive father.
The remaining pieces since traded
as shrapnel between two battling brothers,
the shards of decoupage flower print
offered as penance by a guilt ridden mother
We sit side by side the sandcastles, doing our best
to say something whilst meaning nothing
ring fencing our own failures in a bid to
maintain safe distance from the distemper brewing.
I’m watching when, like the seagulls swooping the bay
one brother releases his message in a bottle of fury
on the young son of the family that sit alongside
circling the sand with bare feet and salted brows
For a second the fallen prey becomes litter in the foam
crashed amongst some bottle tops and a festering crab
and I scorn and scold as best as I can, neither are my kids
but the big boy needs a boundary and quick.
All around I see families drifting like ripples in a sea of sun burnt
strangers enjoying happy holidays, pulling down wide brim hats
as open mouthed children catch chocolate ice cream drips
ignore the commotion from behind billowing barbecues
We do what we can to help restore the picture postcard scene
then say ‘let’s quit while we’re ahead’ before heading home
Written for dVerse Poets prompt for Poetics. This week we were asked to write about someone or something we see and describe the process or method of what unfolded.
Some people do make you cringe when you see or, hear their behaviour in public and it does leave you wondering what they are like behind closed doors, still cringing. Very well painted (sad) write.
So sad… but a lovely poem Vanessa. I wish I were on a beach right now.
Ok- firstly- you’re full of CRAP- because this poem is GREAT. Such a great way to observe the differences in family life. I really like the line ‘doing our best to say something whilst meaning nothing’- completely honest….we’ve all done this….and ‘ring fencing our own failures’- for me ( and you prob know what I’m gonna say) but there no such thing as a perfect family- in fact, in many cases the opposite can be true. ‘small and broken like a china teapot’- you have some fantastic descriptions here….and metaphor- the family china….chipped and broken…..I am liking the cut of your jib mrs matthews! This is my ‘cup of tea’ for sure- oh I just made myself laugh at perhaps the worst dad joke ever….
Thank you for your amazing comment btw- seriously beaming
This is a lovely poem, although sad in its way…I find those people always end up sitting near me, too…;) great descriptions & writing, Vanessa
This is so beautifull-I love, love, love the second stanza–although the whole poem just blew me away in the sweet sadness it holds.
oops, sorry for the typo.
Wonderful poem – awful situation. You describe it powerfully; shrapnel, tea pot, family. k.
…..and that is how reality strikes. Often we find ourselves in these positions and try to cover the childrens eyes and ears but its all a little too late. They’ve seen and heard and the pieces cannot fit in their original state. Life… *sigh*
ugh…all too real…and sometimes sad and sometimes scary to see the remains of a family obviously torn from within…it can def be pretty raw…def lik eyour honesty too in handling the conversation….you def dont want the bomb to go off again…in your hands….
Wonderful poetry – you paint the situation in such fine vivid detail
Yes, absolutely real. Things come out on holidays with sun and sea which would never surface in the mundane day to day world of work and school. I have seen it so often with holiday makers in summer here in Spain- they seem to go crazy like ‘mad dogs and englishmen who go out in the midday sun’-
Love the reality in this poetry. Not a pretty situation, but well expressed….the stuff of real life!
I enjoyed your observations of the families in the beach ~ Sad though for the children ~
Lovely personal share ~
a difficult situation to be witness too, but a powerful, powerful write – especially the second stanza…
small and broken like the china teapot… great image and it’s sad when watching families where everything seems to be broken and what can we do to change it.. i’m coming from a family that was kinda broken in a way and i hated the pity in the neighbor’s eyes..well written vanessa
sharp and fierce
somehow beaches are raw and fierce too
hope that things resolve or soften
like glass in the surf.
Excellent piece
Nick
Cheers as always Nick.
It’s really sad, especially how it affects the young ones.
Really like how you wrote this — the metaphors and wordplay really work. Emotion of frustration and tension ready to burst.
Great writing this.
ring fencing our own failures in a bid to
maintain safe distance from the distemper brewing.
for example. A joy to read.
Watching people can be interesting; I always wonder what I’m not seeing.
Sharp vivid writing here with lots of undercurrent
This is really good Vanessa. So descriptive that the awkwardness extends to the reader, and we all want to get out of there. Been in that situation a few times, and it is excruciating- you get this across so well. One of your best I think.
Aww thank you lovely lady, very kind. You done any new ones recently?
No not really. I have a few going around in my head – but they are all angry angry angry – I’m afraid I’ve turned into a grumpy old woman and want to tear heads off. Mmm, nice – please be my friend! Ha! Ha!
So do it, you can’t harm anything but a piece of paper surely!
WOW. The story is a familiar one made NEW by you, powerfully, with well chosen brush strokes to make me want to leave with you, another way of
“ring fencing our own failures in a bid to
maintain safe distance”
Is there a harder position to be in that in between on a scale from better to worse? Or in a society where you seem to be the only one who cares? I too would have to retreat, or my next move would be to the soapbox–and then all the rest would leave too and all of the castles we dream will be made of sand.
Bravo!
Ha ha, ah yes, the soap box, I have one of those too, it’s a bumper size family pack… Thank you for your kind comments, I’m glad you didn’t leave the beach before sharing your thoughts xx
Ooooh–I really like this piece, Vanessa! The contrast of the family battles and seaside idyll are great, but my favorite bit is the comparison with the broken teapot–not just broken but hidden and traded. The descriptions throughout are fabulous–I felt I was there, and hoped I was sitting with your family and not the broken one. Great take on the prompt!
Ha ha thanks Julie, although you may want to wait until you meet them all before committing to that… They are a rowdy little bunch! Lovely to see you here and thank you for taking time to comment.
Regardless our view, mystery lies in places unexpected ~ truth always more than we can comprehend. Beautiful, Vanessa. ~ Much love, Bobbie