No matter how many times I think
I’ve finally fixed the broken pieces,
I’m drawn again to feel for those raw edges.
The crackles creeping under a porcelain glaze
that tempt my fingertips to bleeding.
Irresistible as the traces of blood red jam
that wet my lips, sticky and sweet as I bite.
Within me are the subtle nuances of a cruel joy
that bring comfort as I lay with the broken dolls,
their masochistic smiles soothing my sins.
I chew on lumps of tar as black as my quarried soul
for no other reason than to torment myself
for giving everything. Pouring out my devotion
as I wait back here, once again in Jesus’ blind spot.
Written for dVerse Poets for Open Link Night hosted by Brian Miller.
Vanessa…the language you chosen for this piece lends well to the varied avenues the reader can take. The finish is fantastic, and forces me to wonder if one is hiding from salvation because the “self” deems her unworthy…a lot to ponder her…this is just off read one. Loved it!
Ha ha *smiles*… Ponder away, there’s lots in this one to mull over depending how you read it. Really lovely to see you back on the trail Tash x
…..my quarried soul….
Love that line, fully describing the torture of being lost.
Nicely done Ness!
Thank you lovely, hope you are joining in tonight?!
I liked the acrid self-examination here, especially since you’re a broken doll yourself (who isn’t – which is bril, btw). I don’t want to speak for Jesus, but I can’t help thinking that you’re probably one of His favorite writers. Thanks!
Ha ha, thank you! That’s left me with a very funny mental image of the big J hanging out with a book in hand
Lovely, thought-provoking piece… pic included.
Thanks Laurie x
dang….felt piece…hard piece but felt…those first 3 lines grip…then the start of the second stanza….
Within me are the subtle nuances of a cruel joy
that bring comfort as I lay with the broken dolls,
ouch, but felt…and in the blindspot of jesus…
you might as well have been in my head this morning….
their masochistic smiles soothing my sins
Oooh, why? Was it all angst ridden in your head this morning?! Really glad you enjoyed this one
felt brokenness in this piece vanessa.. the pain, loss..a tough place to be but then…when i think of brokenness i always think of antoni gaudi who made beautiful art from broken ceramic shards that others would’ve thrown away
Ah yes lovely when you can make something beautiful out of scraps… kind of what we do here I guess!
‘their masochistic smiles soothing my sins.’ Love that line especially. And the similar eye colour in doll and ‘person’ is rather spooky!
oh, this one is heart rending… so well done, i love the flow and imagery… and the rally powerful ending.
*really*
I couldn’t help but think of a scab and the urge to pick at what is trying to heal. Loved “jammy” referring to blood.
Yes indeed, there is an element of that in here for sure…
Nice word choices and imagery..think we all have felt “broken” at some point in time. Lovely picture as well. Great work!
I like the use of broken dolls and quarried souls ~ Is she waiting for redemption ? Thought provoking piece ~
Thought provoking piece, excellent!
So much to think about when reading your words… loss and broken dreams are apparent. I hope she can find her way.
A whole lot more depth to this than first meets the eye. Have re-read several times. Excellent piece of writing!
Jesus has no blind spot, it is only our wishful thinking that hopes He cannot see.
Excellent write, Vanessa! You dug deep for this, I can tell, and you wrote a pwoerful and moving piece.
Amazing pic first; that’s really quite incredible. The piece is so vivid, moving and sad. Well done. k.
Thick and dark. There’s so much depth here! Going back for more now…
Clever image to convey some dark emotions
Why do we do this to ourselves? “Within me are the subtle nuances of a cruel joy”… such a poignant depiction of self-chastisement. I can so relate…
Haunting, heart-wrenching write, Vanessa, loaded with many images of rejection, unworthiness & bewilderment ~ wonderful poem that really captured me ~*
Thank you Peter, delighted that it got under your skin… Hopefully in a good way
It made me self examine for those times I’ve felt myself looking at where I’ve superglued those cuts.. Stunning. Powerful.. Speechless..!
~ Leo @ I Rhyme Without Reason ~
I love this, Vanessa. I think it’s more than just our broken pieces; it’s our rough edges. We’re drawn to those who fit along that same jagged edge (because somehow it makes us less broken). Truly, that is where our beauty lives – in the perfection of our flaws. Love you, B