And so the raindrops…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The purity of rain and

all it’s cleansing possibilities

rolls off my skin

forming puddles in a moat

surrounding my (Achilles) heels

 

The well oiled surface

of my machine

repels the droplets

like water off a ducks back

but my feathers are ruffled

 

Gliding on the surface

as legs race underneath

I wonder if it will ever stop

perhaps it will fall so hard

all traces will be washed away

 

Drowned out in the same distant

pitter patter, trickle splatter

that wooed me unconscious

laying down with the dark last night

listening as it rained falling stars

 

(and so the raindrops fall, to wash away the signs, you were ever there at all…)

 

 

Written for dVerse Poets Pub Poetics Prompt which is hosted this week by the very talented Stuart McPherson.

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50 responses to “And so the raindrops…

  1. I like this very much…
    Beautiful …
    Take care…
    )0(
    maryrose

  2. the achilles heels as a symbol for weakness.. ruffled feathers.. things that leave their marks..and can’t be washed off… a touching write with felt sadness..esp. in the last line..

  3. This is beautiful and quite evocative, which is good, helping me to see rain with a little more appreciation right now!!! 🙂

    • Tell me about it… the rain here has been constant for what feels like decades (a couple of weeks at least) and I’ve had enough of it! The sun came out today though so I’m going to quit grumbling… til it starts raining again. Thanks!

  4. i am soaking in your rain…with wishful thinking…to cool it off…i like the depth under this though vanessa…there is a heaviness…the ruffled feathers…the washing away until nothing left….

  5. Lovely word choices. Swan image: paddling away like mad above the serene upper body? Trying to understand your machine.
    I liked this view.

  6. Ahhh nice Vanessa….I love the contrasts here….paints a picture of someone able to wear a good mask, hide their feelings, know that they have weaknesses on the inside (as we all do I guess)…. And this is a great use of weather as a metaphor ….perfect…just highlights the emotions and undercurrents so well…oh and I loved the close….rain falling like stars….love just laying still and listening to it…well written my friend!

    • Thanks Stu, was a bit worried that it isn’t sophisticated enough, especially once I’d added the pretty girly image, but I don’t know.Depends what’s in your head when you read I guess. Glad you found some depth in there x

  7. Drowned out in the same distant

    pitter patter, trickle splatter

    that wooed me unconscious

    laying down with the dark last night

    listening as it rained falling stars

    … I love that!

  8. Pingback: And so the raindrops… | Pure Poetry | Scoop.it·

  9. Pingback: And so the raindrops… « thebleedingpen·

  10. Love it, Vanessa! Simple, clear, pure poetry! And love that lovely little finish…makes it a power statement of acceptance and moving on…

    • Hello lovely lady! Really good to see you back here, although this isn’t one of my besti don’t think… Have created better over the last week or two. But yes, it is pure and easy to digest, glad you enjoyed and thanks x

  11. This has such sadness to it, accompanying the rain that you hope/wish would wash the time spent with a lover. Such tenderness is belied by the weakness that love always reveals in us, which we do not want others to see as it opens us up to attack. The rainnthen might bring strength once again, as the last memories of the loved moments wash away. This is fery lovingly told, sad yet on thebway to healing I think.

  12. We haven’t had rain here for over a month, yet I feel that I’m immersed in it, the sounds, and the faint regretful feeling that comes with letting go, letting it wash away–those lines about legs moving below the surface seemed to reflect our polarized lives–emotional/physical, all compartmentalized…and the last lines, so delicately floating on the puddle at the end, are like perfect teardrops to end the piece.

  13. Gliding on the surface
    as legs race underneath…

    that is exquisite. The photograph just wowed me and I would like to think you took it! ?

  14. I believe you, I believe you . . . the relief of rain to the flood of rain–the glory of the sound to the terror of the erasure, yet under the hypnosis, no terror at all, just a dreamy fact. That power exists.

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