10 Ways to Lose Weight and other such nonsense…




So, I was wiping a blob of clotted cream off my laptop keyboard this morning when I stumbled across a junk email inviting me to discover 10 ways to lose weight – without the cost!  Now, I’m no expert but I wasn’t aware that there was a financial cost attached to losing weight, if anything you would surely save money because you would be eating less right?  Apparently not.  In case you didn’t know it, there are many mysterious ways to make this happen.  I’ll let you in on some of the secrets… you can get fit and lose weight by going to the park (though I guess you can’t lie on a picnic blanket after driving there).  You can try moving from your desk a few times a day (to fetch a coffee with milk and two sugars, nice, count me in).  Or pay for occasional exercises classes rather than a gym membership (don’t want to over commit yourself to regular exercise).  Download a free fitness app (for your costly iPad, iPod or smart phone).  You can ride your bike (if you have one and assuming you hadn’t already figured you could sit on it and move it along using your feet), you could use some household items to exercise on… like, maybe… your floor or your stairs?  You could even go to the library and hire out an exercise book, then maybe sit on your couch all afternoon reading it with a biscuit in hand.

Do we really need a magazine to tell us to take a walk, ride a bike, and generally keep moving in order to lose weight and get fit?  Do we really need to be patronized by a features editor trying to feed our insatiable appetite for procrastination fodder?  I don’t know about you but I know the exact equation for weight loss and a healthier body… eat less + do more = smaller body and bigger purse.  That’s it.  There are no secrets, just hard work and will power.  Unfortunately I lack the capacity for either!

I’m not pro or anti weight loss and don’t care much if you are fat or thin, it’s your body to do with as you please, but I am pro common sense.  The reason I need to lose a few pounds is quite clear to me.  I make too many excuses for my lack of exercise and have too many justifications for chocolate covered indulgence.  I know exactly what I need to do, I’d just rather start doing it tomorrow…


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