Fear is a medal at my breast
I earned the sharp pin, it sticks me
like a test. Of strength and endurance
the measure of mice and men
but still I fear so many things
What if? What could? What then?
What if all my words ran out?
Nothing left for me to say
Just tumble turns in cloudy water,
before I run away.
when the fear rolls in, reflections lost
in smoke as I disappear – digress
Goosebumps creep through pallid sighs
as I lose myself to false impressions;
Diamonds in my eyes. That’s the fear again,
do you see? Become one of them
And as I morph, lose sight of me
Drop who I am and what I know
as chiffon shadows on the floor
leave only sticky fingerprints
as I head towards the door
A soft farewell integrity,
enter bitterness and lies; but slowly
I know, I’ll feel the bile rise
Return the words I seek to conjure,
my vernacular vomit. Here I go,
purge myself of worry and wonder
Fill my bucket, feed my urge,
play scrabble with the words
as I try to re-emerge
I respond to fear in fight or flight
Fear of being wrong or right, but what if
I’m not right at all?
What if, of everything I see, the problem is not them,
but me? What then my friend?
A watched pot never boils they say
but what do they know anyway
So I guess I’ll turn away for now
and hope it doesn’t bubble over
Written in response to this week’s Poetics prompt hosted by the very fabulous Stuart McPherson. Stu asked us to pen a poem about our fears and phobias. Well folks, fear is my specialist subject at times and my words are often my shield and armour. Helping me to defend myself, cope or heal. But as I wrote this, and tried time and time again to work the form and the rhythm I realised another fear was emerging…. The fear of not getting it right. Well I might be afraid of lots of things, but I’m not afraid to look my fears in the face and say, what’s the worst that will happen? So yes I went off at tangents, I waved goodbye to form here and there, and some bits rhyme nicely and others sort of don’t, but I decided to leave it alone. Face my fear and put it out there in all its incorrectness. So leave a comment, do your worst if you wish… you don’t scare me 😉